How can I help you?

My goal is to help you address your issues that you feel are standing in the way of your leading a more fulfilling life. Below you will find excerpts from my Blog "Steps to Serenity - Tips from a Therapist," which offers a collection of thoughts I have gained from helping patients improve their lives for over 25 years. Is there a particular topic you would like to see addressed? I invite you to read the entries and share your thoughts in the comments, or contact me directly for a getting to know each other session.

Parenting - what works and what doesn't

Every child is different, so is every parent. Virginia Satir said that in a healthy family every person, adult or child, has the right to their own feelings, their own beliefs, their own goals, their own dreams, their own weaknesses, etc. You cannot do things their way, just as you will find they can't do things your way. The less you try to mold them to what you feel will work for them, the more you will see them blossom into their own unique ...

Boundaries with everyone, including yourself

The ability to set boundaries comes from learning about yourself, learning to trust yourself and learning to be yourself out in the world. You learn that it's okay to feels what you feel, okay to ask for what you need, okay to want what you want, etc. All this self awareness goes with an awareness of the right of others to honor themselves as well. Thus is the challenge of learning healthy boundaries in relationship with others. It's doable thoug ...

Balance - in your day and in your life

I have a handout by an anonymous author. It's a helpful guideline that I like to use that contains seven easy tips, which are:
Do something for yourselfDo something for someone elseDo something you want to doDo something you don't want to doDo something mentalDo something physicalSay a prayer of gratitude
Balance can be a trickier concept that it sounds. You may be a very giving person who does lots for others, but doesn't do en ...

Communication - tips to hear and be heard

In effective communication, hearing is less about listening with your ears and much more about listening with your brain and your senses.When you're listening, focus less on formulating your response, and waiting for the other person to pause for breath so you can jump in . . . . instead focus on what the other person is saying. In active listening you will repeat back to your partner what you heard, to make sure you got it right. If you didn ...

Trusting others - can I?

Trust is something we all deal with in our relationships. While there are many ways to approach the topic, my core beliefs are best illustrated by an example.

In the summer of 2005, I was leading groups for an intensive outpatient program at Holly Hill Hospital in Raleigh, North Carolina. During one of our sessions, an intensive, attractive woman came into the group and asked me to teach her how to trust men. I responded that I didn' ...

Self esteem and self trust/building them up over life

I believe that self esteem is the same as self respect. Esteem is the regard in which one is held.

Do you hold yourself in high esteem?
If you do, you respect yourself. If you don't, why not?
Self respect can be for characteristics that define you, are you honest? dependable? faithful?

It can be for what you do, are you hardworking? helpful?
Do you do what you say you will do?
Did you do what you said you ...

Peace of mind, and how to get it

This starts with identifying what you're not peaceful about. What are you anxious about? What are you depressed about? What thoughts keep you from getting to sleep, or back to sleep if you awaken in the night? What regrets do you have - that you can do something about? Where are you stuck - where are you trying to go? Are you satisfied with your relationships - no? what do you need to do about it/them? ...

Spirituality - Honoring that part of ourselves

(Click on picture to enlarge & see the spiritual symbols)

Gardening is one of my ways of honoring my spirituality. I'm amazed by flowers. I've added the spiritual symbols to do my very, very tiny bit towards religions being able to live together in peace.

My quest always is to help you find your way, even if it's no way at all. I ask you questions inviting your examination o ...

Philosophy and Overview

Welcome readers!

I'm going to be sharing my wisdom gleaned from years of therapy, where
I have taught and learned for thirty years. Feel free to post your thoughts and questions. This site, of course, is not meant to diagnose or treat anyone. My postings will share with you my philosophy of therapy and treatment overall. Even if you agree with all of my perceptions, it may be difficult for you to internalize this i ...